Why Forgiving Your Boss Will Change Your Life

May 16, 2013 — 10 Comments

BITTERNESS IS THE SWORD IN YOUR HEART

It’s difficult to have authority over people.  There are so many things to consider: inspiration, motivation, results, feelings, safety, etc.  No wonder bosses screw it up so bad.  No wonder, they get paid more.

Even the bosses I’ve appreciated the most, have made some pretty big mistakes.  It would be easy for me to hold it against them…and I have.

What I’ve found though is that holding that in, is a zero sum game.

That bitterness just consumes “me”, not him or her.  What’s worse is that the longer I hold on to it, the harder it is to let go.  The next thing I know it has infected everything I do.

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What My Boss Did Is Unforgivable:

Maybe so.  But, the good news is that forgiveness is a choice.  That doesn’t mean you have to forget.  It doesn’t mean that you become a human door mat.  It just means that you let it go.  It means that you make a decision to not hold it against that person any more.

I know what you are thinking right now.  I can’t just let that go, it really hurt!  Well guess what…by holding it inside, you are continuing a cycle of pain that will eventually take root in your heart.  Let it go now!

Forgiveness is like root killer to the bitterness of your heart! -Me”

Of course, with all of that said you may have experienced something that may not allow you to trust that person again.  Then it’s probably time to get away from them.  Be smart about it and be sure to forgive, but get your exit strategy ready asap.

My Boss Isn’t Sorry For What He Did:

Does it really matter?  Sure, you want them to be sorry because it makes you feel better.  It also gives you some hope that it may not happen again.  But, in the end, it doesn’t matter if they are sorry are not.  The pride that you feel to be right, is no reason to let bitterness set up camp in your life.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. -Lewis B. Smedes”

Career Paths Destroyed:

I’ve seen this happen on so many occasions.  Great people bogged down because of a lack of forgiveness.  Their leaders have treated them badly. Their compensation has been neglected.  Their respect has been trampled.  So they let bitterness take root.

The problem is that by holding all of that in and not letting it go, they’ve given up.  Now, high performers are functioning at sub-par levels.  They don’t care any more.

So, is it their fault?  Maybe, maybe not.  But what is the most likely scenario where they get what they want?  What is the most likely scenario for them to have influence over their situation?  It’s not going to be like that, for sure!

By giving up and giving in to the poison in their hearts, they’ve wrecked their opportunity.  They’ve wrecked their chances for good.  Worst of all, they’ve opened the flood gates to problems in other parts of their lives.  That is just scary!  Don’t let it happen to you!

I Just Don’t Know How To Forgive:

Now, let’s pause right here.  If you are still reading this, I applaud you!  Something deep inside of you is still craving to forgive.  Turn up the volume on that.  Imagine the peace you can have in your heart.  Imagine the burden that will be lifted the next time you see that person.

Now, just do it!  Say it!  I’m letting it go.  It’s gone.

Question:  Are you going to forgive someone today?  Tell us about it…

BOBWIN1

Posts

  • I love this, Bob. This is really powerful and applicable to just about anyone who has worked for someone.

    • Thanks Joel! Just speaking from experience. Seems like everyone has a boss…even the boss! 😉

  • Thanks Karin! Seems like some people find this easier than others, but yeah, you gotta do it or it will eat you up.

  • Steve Pate

    Great Job. I had to do this not only with my director but also some committee members about 9 months ago. When I say I had too, I mean, needed to, so I can work on what I did wrong instead of arguing with them in my head. That allowed me to focus to grow and move on to things that mattered.

    • Funny how easy it is for us to stay inside of our own heads. When we argue back and forth with ourselves and wonder why everyone seems so crazy?#$%$

      Thanks for sharing Steve! Glad to know I’m not the only one who goes through this process. Good for you for recognizing the growth opportunity! Not always easy to do that!

  • I love that you applied lessons on forgiveness into the workplace! Forgiving co-workers, bosses, etc. is as critical as forgiving a friend. Terrific.

    • Thanks Skip!

      Forgiveness in the workplace is so critical! You make me think though, there’s probably another post here on forgiving yourself too. I’m making a note of that…

      Take care!

  • Being a forgiving person is so essential when it comes to our future. I really enjoyed the Lewis Smedes quote. The only person we are hurting when we don’t forgive is our self. Great thoughts. I look forward to reading more posts!

    • Hey thanks for stopping by Dan!

      Sorry for the delayed response.

      I’m glad you enjoyed the post. It sure took me long enough to learn this lesson! 😉

      • Your welcome.

        No problem. I totally understand.

        At least you learned it:) Talk to you soon.